Princess Fire and Lady Purple
Occupation: Bandits and Bounty Hunters
Race: Human
Gender: Female
Age: Mid to late Teens
Birthplace: Unknown
Deity: Unknown
Description
A pair of small and attractive human girls, one dressed all in red and the other all in purple and both habitually carrying their bows.
Personality
Quiet. Attempts to strike up conversation by visitors to the New Heavens meeting place generally fail.
History
Overheard in the New Heavens meeting place…
Yeah, they’re nice enough looking pieces but you’ve got to be careful. Neither of them likes being reminded of what they used to do, and they’ve shown a right vicious streak to them what does remind them. What? You don’t know the story? Well, buy me a piking drink then and listen up…
Aaaaaah, good stuff… alright, no need ta be impatient, getting to the tale now.
Started back when this group of do-gooding cutters came ‘ere looking fer a ‘little lost girl’ who they’d been training at their poncy ‘Tower of Iron Will’ in her mind-bending. Now this fellow called Kor, or Charlie Twofingers to some, saw a chance for a bit of fun, right, and told them if they were looking for a girl then he had two they could chose from. Now though those cutters were stupid enough to be ‘heroes’, rather than sensible folks like us, they were not innocents. They took a bit of offence rather than thinking it a fair offer, but they knew what he was offering.
So Kor came back out with his two playthings, one of which he’d only recently bought from her poor old Mum… what? Don’t be so piking squeamish, even if she wasn’t bought for what she was worth it still meant her Mum had one less mouth to feed and a bit of extra money for food for the rest of her brood. Anyway, he showed off his pair, who he was calling Pixibel and Trixibel, and enjoyed the cutters’ reaction to this. Both of them were smallish so he pretended they were a bit younger than they were, and both the same age rather than ‘Pixibel’ having a couple of years on ‘Trixibel’… and right experienced years they were too.
Seriously? You don’t see why this was funny? Look, normally they could have told him to pike off when he made the offer, but they’d had to wait and be sure their girl wasn’t one of his two somehow. So here was this group of gits trying to save a girl and Kor was showing them two they couldn’t save, and what might happen to their Sara-Sue if they didn’t find her in time.
Why couldn’t they save them? What sort of brains are you using, son? These cutters were tough berks, have to be to survive the sort of things those idiots fight rather than run away from, but they didn’t want to have to fight the whole damn village. Yeah, true enough… wouldn’t have been the whole village, but enough to make it a bad fight for them.
Now, where was I… aside from thirsty. What? Like Hells this story hasn’t been worth even the first drink!
Okay, okay, no need to get nasty. So there were the cutters and there was Kor, and he sent the girls back inside, but before he could finish giving them the old oily grins one of the berks suddenly spoke up and said he was interested in hiring the girls for the night. Not sure whether Kor or the other berks were the more surprised, though when this skinny elf told an old human git this was a present for him that made it clear who the most surprised was.
Seemed to Kor that something funny was going on. Elf looked like it would be more likely that he’d be the one being paid, the sort of charming piker that rich older ladies would shower presents on, and he did whisper something to the old man before he… the old man… came inside here. Then rather than leaving him to his fun they waited for the oldster, who didn’t spend long in the back room with the girls and didn’t have the right sort of dopey look when he came out. So him praising their skills seemed right odd and Kor was right suspicious when the old git offered to buy them…
Yeah, right, they couldn’t rescue them by fighting so they were going to rescue them with money. Bit of a rumour the berks had a bit of an argument about this. Old git had been supposed to just teleport them and him away but had decided against stealing… I said they weren’t sensible sorts… and some of his friends objected to him paying as that would let Kor buy more. Of course Kor did think he was going to buy ‘more’ rather than ‘replacements’ as he’d told the girls that if he ever sold them then unless he said otherwise he was actually just renting them. First chance they got they was to get their asses back to him.
So the girls took the first chance they got and the old berk had to pay for damage where they’d lifted some floorboards in the Mirtho Rest Tailor’s changing room and tunnelled out. But although he’d not done more than talk… yeah, maybe because he’d not done more than talk… in the back room with them the girls decided to not come back here at once. Met up again with the old git the next day and gave him a chance, but decided to strike out on their own instead. Seemed he was too ‘honourable’ to bed them and… yeah, he might have just been impotent. But either way if he wasn’t bedding them they didn’t have that way to make him want to keep and protect them, so better they thought to not rely on him remaining charitable.
Though… they might have been wrong about that. Rumour has it that the silly old git has such a big house because he’d changed his plans to include rooms for them, and he certainly spent a lot of time looking for them after they vanished. So seems he’d intended to look after them, even without the main advantage of two young but curvy lasses in his home. Personally I’d have taken the hint and not wasted my time after the first time…
Yeah, first time. You remember that plague in Tel? The one where the pikers started lying around like useless lumps of meat and had to be tended by soft-hearted nurses and the like? Well, the two girls got caught in that and the old git looked after them while they were affected, but as soon as they were cured they buggered off. He’d only left them long enough to visit the nearby bank, like he’d been asked to do, and they were gone again.
He still didn’t take the hint though and kept looking, especially when he heard a rumour that they’d been spotted and had killed and robbed some berk. Went on for months and the old git wasn’t the only one looking as Kor still wanted them back. Eventually though Kor had the misfortune of success… yeah, I said misfortune. When he did catch them they did him good, stole his stash and crossed the Great Divide, but not before giving him a new nickname. Used to be Charlie Twofingers but not all of him made it to the Halls, so he was going to have to be Charlie Noballs…
Nice wince there, son. I said they had a vicious streak. Though rumour has it that when the old git did finally manage to talk to them, and give them the freedom they’d already taken, he did approve of Charlie’s new lack. He didn’t approve of them now being bandits and bounty hunters, but did finally take the hint that they wanted none of his aid and wanted to be known by their new names…
Finally? Yeah, he'd been hearing rumours about a pair of bandits for months and had been wasting his piking time trying to find them. Berk still felt like he needed to make sure they were okay, even if they'd proved they were. Hells, even when he finally saw these 'mysterious bandits' and they ran off he didn't take the hint... what? Yeah, suppose them running off would be a hint those were the same girls...
Almost feel sorry for the berk. Didn't take that one chance he had, that his friend had paid for, and wasted a lot of time being so stubborn about trying to help them. But was his own stupid fault, makes you wonder how he's supposed to advise people or get prayers from his God when he's that piking thick. Though as he's quite rich with it might have been the girls that were thick to not let him pamper them.
Pride? Maybe. Killing berks for money, either robbing them or because some other git wanted them dead, is earning your own way rather than charity... though so was what Charlie Noballs was having them do. And don't give me a look like that, son. I'm sure the berks would have preferred to be poking them rather than being poked with arrows...
Okay, I take yer point. Is them that's deciding now rather than Charlie, Hodish expects them to have good reason to decline a job but they can decline and can take jobs from berks direct. So they've got their freedom, as much as any of us have, and are doing what they decided on. Maybe I'm just envious that no rich old lady never offered to set me up in luxury.
Now, that's just rude. I was quite handsome before life beat me down... here, no need to laugh, I was!
Aaah, that hits the spot. You're forgiven, even if it was a cheap brew. What? Oi, Hodish are you playing tricks with the bottles again? Yeah, pike you too.
Anyway, still want to try your luck with them? On the upside they might know a few tricks of the trade and be willing to work together on you, on the downside they might work together using a knife if you’re not careful. Here, where are you going? What? Yeah, I know I said they didn’t like reminders of what they did. Ah, well, got one good drink out of it at least, and a not so good one…
…the speaker was later found with several dozen holes in him. Examination of these revealed these had been first made by arrows and then by those arrows frugally being cut out of him for reuse.
